Slobberknocking while wondering whatever happened to Lisa Whelchel: We've got a full plate this week, so let's try not to far too fall behind. Evidently, the style councils of Madison Avenue didn't get my memo last month on the overuse of the terms 'Y2K' and 'Millennium.' The latest bad example: The Madden 'All-Millennium Team,' to be unveiled during the all-day irrelevance festival known as Super Bowl Pre-Game. Ummmn, maybe I missed a couple of days in history class, but when the Catholic Church was preparing for the first Crusade in 1099, did they make draft compensations for warriors taken away from the NFL? I think not. I swear to you, this whole superhype thing is destined to burn me out faster than a Dennis Rodman annulment filing. According to Reunion Arena officials, over 7000 people attended the Mavericks' "Free For All" scrimmage Friday night. If census takers wanted to gauge the 'idiot sheep' population of the Greater D/FW area, all they had to do was camp out in fron tof Reunion. February is fast approaching and with it, the wonderful ratings stunts that local news stations will try to outdo each other. I'm breathlessly awaiting the FOX 4 I-Team's report of a mean towing company that doesn't give refunds when they do illegal towing. Now THAT'S compelling journalism. Mick Jagger is fighting Jerry Hall's divorce settlement claim of $50 million. His defense? They were never legally married. Jagger further contends the $50 million would be better used if given to the various hookers, transvestites, and drug dealers who filled his life with so much joy in the years Jagger wasn't married. Let me say that again -- fifty million dollars. Of course, for bandmate Keith Richards, that's one month of life extension treatment. The prosecutors in the Senate Impeachment Trial want Monica Lewinsky to appear and give testimony on her side of the Presidential sex scandal. They really don't care about what she has to say... they just want an up-close demonstration of the cigar trick. I keep expecting the Mongol horde from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" to pop up on C-SPAN and yell, "Get on with it!" I was more interested in how Kevin Costner's "The Postman" came out than this boredom expo... and it feels like it goes on for just as long. The NHL All-Star Game, fore the second year, followed the 'North America vs the World' format. Sounds like a reenactment of the Revolutionary War, if you asked me, which puts Ken Hitchcock's coaching nod into perspective. Finally, "Free Ticket Tina?" Pure promotional anthrax. (There ya go, Bob.) --Devin Pike