Slobberknocking while wondering whatever happened to Charlie Rocket: I'm sitting at Bennigan's in Lewisville on St. Patrick's Day, a little worried that I left my fireman's gear at my house, when a couple sits down at our P1 table. The Fake Tom Hulce had set the Roundtable mailing list up with a couple of tables up front where we could drown our parking woes in green beer, but it was early and most of the group was caught in traffic. No sense in holding seats that wouldbn't be used for hours. It's a typical Ticket couple, if you believe the hype -- the husband is a dyed-in-the-wool P1, the wife likes some sports (Cubs fan=bonus points) but isn't by the channel. After some preliminary questions from them on the relationship between Hardliners.Com and the Susquehanna nation, the talk inexplicably turns to sex. You're familiar with the old stereotype about men telling every detail about their bedroom bidness to their buddies in 'locker room' talk? It's simply not true. By and large, men will only confirm or deny carnal knowledge, and that's it. There's no elaboration, no details, and usually no photos (Rob Lowe and Erik Williams notwithstanding). Women, on the other hand, will waste no time reporting back to their friends, co-workers, casual acquaintances, and people they run into every last detail of their boudoir dalliuances. The wife at the P1 table, whom we'll call "Alice" for the sake of protecting the guilty, says that her co-workers know everything about her husband's length and girth, nuance, variation, and kinks. And, guys? Women never lie about this stuff to their friends. NEVER. If your concubinal interest approves, they'll be high in their praise of your skill. If they disapprove, you will be lucky if her friends don't snicker when they see you next. Is it a byproduct of the sexual revolution? Most certainly. The whole concept of "women don't appreciate sex because they're not supposed to" got burned with the bras in the late-60s. Personally, I'm glad for it, but I'm not certain the mainstream American male can handle the truth. So, the next time a girl asks you if you'll respect her in the morning after that encounter, you might want to ask the same question of her. --Devin Pike