This is a wholly unauthorized compilation of copyrighted material, and is intended for promotional use only. All songs are the property of their respective artists. No unauthorized duplication is permitted, and violations will be enforced by a massive New Zealander named Skootch.

Please don't sue me.

Disc was mastered, replicated, and packaged using Mac OS X. Life is too short to spend looking at the Blue Screen of Death.

You have the right to be informed of any human experimentation or any other research / education projects affecting your care or treatment.

Some side affects may include dry mouth, headache, constipation, anxiety, peripheral edema, tachycardia, dyspepsia, anaphylactic reactions, and hallucinations.

McDonald's burgers will make you fat if you keep shoving them in your greasy pie-hole.

Three is the magic number. Demerol pumps, though very nice, will not be issued in most cases. No means no.

Excuse the gold, the video's old.

Poodles are the black man of the dog world.

Please consider a hybrid car as your next vehicle purchase.

It puts the lotion in the basket.

Word of the day: hicktified.

If you can't stand the heat, open a window.

I am, in fact, your Back Door Santa.

Or somesuch.